May15

Ask Your Kids Questions About Social Media

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Ask Your Kids Questions About Social Media

The world of social media surrounds our children. Kids are super curious and when they hear about a new site or tool they want to find out what it’s all about. It can be exciting for a child to enter into a social network. They are going to try things out, so it’s important to acknowledge that interest with your children and be involved with what they view.

I have a daughter that is 11 years old. The lure of social media and being connected to her friends has become a recent interest to her. I am very protective of my daughter, but want to allow her to learn in a safe environment. As a parent I think it’s very important to have open dialogue with her as she explores social media sites. There are some sites I won’t let her register for, but others she has tested out. I am very involved with watching and asking questions about what she is involved with.

Parents are very aware of the danger that lurks in these sites. So it is very important to talk to your kids about privacy and creating online identities. Sit down with your children and ask questions!

Here are some questions you can ask your kids:

  • Why are you interested in social media sites?
  • How would you respond if a stranger tired to contact you through an online site?
  • What would you do if you found out that one of your friends was talking to strangers online?
  • What did you write on Facebook today?
  • Do you know that you can go to an adult for help if something makes you uncomfortable online?

It’s important to get your kids to talk about their Social Media lives  just so you know what they are doing. Today it seems many tweens and teens may be more digitally savvy than their parents , however their lack of maturity and life experience can get them into trouble on these social venues. So be involved with your children, don’t be afraid to be involved. Ask questions!

 

Apr25

Helping Your Teen With Their Online Reputation

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Helping Your Teen With Their Online Reputation

In the current digital age, 95% of all teens are online and 80% of them have had various opportunities to share their personal information and create content on social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter.

Many of these teenagers don’t realize the importance of maintaining a positive online reputation. Their focus is the present and they usually don’t consider the consequences of their internet activities. If careless, a teen’s digital footprint can have long term negative effects ranging from lost job opportunities to denied college admissions.

As early as 2006 reports began to surface indicating that colleges were conducting internet searches to learn about potential applicants. A simple Google search provides all kinds of information about an individual’s reputation including everything they’ve posted about themselves on websites, blogs or Facebook pages. In addition, a search will turn up information that others have posted about them.  If a teen’s online reputation is less than positive, it could have severe consequences on their future aspirations.

It takes planning and time to develop a solid online reputation and only an instant to lose it. Parents can help their teen develop a positive image by raising awareness and teaching them to create and maintain the kind of online profile that will present them in the best possible light.

Tips To Help Teens Manage a Positive Online Reputation:

 

  • Monitor – As a parent your role is to be a gatekeeper. Monitor privacy controls and be aware of your teen’s online environment.
  • The Power of First Impressions – Encourage your teen to explore social networks before jumping right in and connecting with others. Check it out first to see if this a positive place where you’d want your teen to make their presence known. If not, search for another network that’s a better fit.
  • Posting Pictures & Videos – Tell your teen that if they wouldn’t want Grandma to see it, they shouldn’t post it! This doesn’t mean they can only post pictures or videos of puppies and kittens. Most likely your teen has enough common sense to know what’s inappropriate and what’s not. Also advise them not to post inappropriate pictures or videos of anyone else.
  • PR Activities To Manage a Personal Brand – When your teen is online, have them emphasize their accomplishments and other positive information such as artistic achievements or talents, hobbies and community service projects. Have them write blog posts on these accomplishments or provide links to extracurricular activities. Besides building a positive online presence, this will provide a way to interact with others who share the same interests. When done correctly, age-appropriate postings emphasizing your teen’s strengths can help distinguish their job or college application from the pack.
  • Google Alerts – Set up a Google Alerts subscription. This free service sends you updates whenever Google finds a new link related to the search terms you provide. Enter your teen’s name and any nicknames as well as other terms connected to relevant activities and organizations.


Before your teenager does something foolish that might ruin any future prospects, be a proactive parent and give them the right tools to express themselves in a positive light to create a future that you can both be proud of!

Apr12

Protecting Your Children From the Lure of Cyber Crimes

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Protecting Your Children From the Lure of Cyber Crimes

Children and Cyber CrimesWith over 45 million children ages 10 – 17 using the internet, only 52% of parents are moderately supervising their children’s online activity, leaving a window of opportunity for internet predators to take full advantage of the lack of responsible adult supervision.
Online predators are not only internet savvy but they are very skilled in the control and manipulation of children’s vulnerabilities. They lurk in chat rooms looking for prey to entice into private conversations, e-mails, instant messages and photo exchanges.

Seducing children with lots of attention and lending a sympathetic ear for their adolescent problems is the deceptive way in which a predator lures children into devious exploitative behavior.  These children are emotionally, intellectually and physically weaker than the predator who uses this to lead the child into this behavior.

But predators don’t just commit sex crimes. Many entice their unsuspecting young victims to participate in fraudulent activity such as selling stolen goods, running scams, cons, identity or banking theft or by extracting their parent’s personal information  to gain access to financial data. This can be achieved by having the child download malicious software or  run a trojan program from an email attachment.

Kids who are not being supervised by an adult can also be persuaded by their peers into committing online crimes. The same anonymity that protects the online predator from detection can also shield kids who commit online crimes.

The American Journal of Criminal Justice found that juveniles in middle and high school whose peers committed cyber-crimes and are deemed risk takers, were more likely to engage in the same illegal activities.


The Most Common Cyber Crimes:

  • Identity Theft –   Every year in the United States, there are 9 million victims of identity theft.
  • Cyber stalking –   Repeatedly harassing another person online with taunts that are sexual in nature,  defaming,  sending abusive emails that are usually associated with anger and or hostility.
  • Pornography – Involving production and distribution of pornographic material including child pornography, used to exploit children.
  • Pirate Copyrighted Software – The unauthorized use or distribution of software.
  • Music & Movie  Piracy – Illegal downloading of copyrighted songs or movies costing the industry to lose millions of dollars of revenue.
  • Computer Hacking – The practice of finding out weaknesses in an established system and exploiting them, motivated by a multitude of reasons, such as profit, protest, or challenge. The U.S. Secret Service and law enforcement agencies state that in a vast majority of attacks (80%), hackers hit victims of opportunity rather than companies they sought out.
  • Fraud – Create bogus accounts on ecommerce sites such as eBay to sell non-existent merchandise.

Cyber crimes rob U.S. businesses billions of dollars a year and the nation of jobs and lost tax revenues.
Where there is smoke there is fire – Here are a few warning signs that your child may be engaging in illegal online activity:

  • Using the internet excessively, especially at night
  • Spending a lot of time in chat rooms
  • Changes in behavior and being secretive about online activity
  • Quickly turning off the computer or changing software applications when someone else enters the room
  • Receiving or making phone calls to strangers and or receiving gifts or letters from them.
  • Uses an on-line account belonging to someone else, or has multiple e-mail addresses.
  • Downloaded pornographic or pictures of strangers and or is receiving graphic image files (those files with “GIF”, “JPG”, or “BMP”, extensions).
  • You find software on the computer that you did not purchase


Think you have no parental liability for your child’s online crime, even if you have no knowledge of what your child is doing on the internet? Think again. In the United States, at least 10 states and dozens of municipalities have enacted parental liability laws with punishments ranging from fines to imprisonment. The state of California is the leader in establishing more punitive parental liability legislation. Parental liability laws main goal is to involve parents in their children’s lives, promote improvement of parental control over their children and lessen youth crime off and on the internet.

If you don’t pay attention to your children and supervise their online activity, someone else will.

Apr3

Safe Search Engines for Kids

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Safe Search Engines for Kids

Safe Search Engines for KidsA well-designed search engine for kids will have a user-friendly interface that is easy to navigate, appeals to children of all ages and most importantly provides an environment where they can safely surf the internet. Search engines for kids are specifically designed to restrict the results returned from a child’s query, filtering out inappropriate material such as explicit sexual content, violence, hate speech, gambling and drug sites.

If you’re concerned about what your child sees online, the following dedicated search engines will be of interest. They filter out inappropriate content that some parents and teachers find unacceptable for a minor to view.

  • Awesome Library –  Containing a directory and index, Awesome Library organizes the web with 37,000 carefully reviewed resources including the top 5 percent in education.
  • KidsClick –  Just like being at the library, this search engine (created by librarians) uses cataloged resources that provide objective, age appropriate information that makes it easy for kids to understand current event topics.
  • Quintura For Kids – This visual and intuitive search engine runs a search and then translates the results into a tag cloud (map) on the screen. The images help refine the search and make it fun.
  • KidRex  -  A search engine powered by Google Custom Search for kids. The interface has a colorful, hand-drawn crayon and colored marker design making it fun to use for kids in Kindergarten – 3rd grade. This search engine uses SafeSearch which filters objectionable content, keywords, phrases and websites to keep search results clean.
  • Yahooligans  – Operated by Yahoo, this website is more than a directory. Filled with games, movies, reference, parents and teachers’ Guides. Each site has been checked by experienced educators and the target audience is children between the ages of 7 – 12.
  • Google - If you have a Google account, you can create your own kid-safe search engine by using Google Custom Search Creator.

 

The internet is a fascinating place but it also can be dangerous for children if they’re not supervised. Parental discretion is advised and these sites can help you protect your child when they’re online.

Mar28

Protecting Your Daughter From The Mean Girls

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Protecting Your Daughter From The Mean Girls

Protecting your daughter from mean girlsI’m sorry that people are so jealous of me, but I can’t help it that I’m so popular! Suzy Swan, the mention of that name still wants to make me gag. Entering freshman year in high school is hard enough without the likes of Suzy circling around you like a vulture. Being in the awkward teenager years, having an acne scarred face, flat chest and buck teeth made it just a little easier for her to find her prey.

Every day Suzy would make cruel comments about my anatomy, calling me Mr. Ed. Every time I smiled was pure torture and so was paying to fix my buck teeth years later. Thanks, Suzy. Of course, Suzy was physically perfect in every way, flawless clear skin, shapely curves, head cheerleader rah, rah.

I didn’t hang with the cliques who were the popular kids or the ‘in crowd.’ I had a few friends but mostly kept to myself, spending a lot of time in the library feeling excluded, targeted, ostracized and scared. After spending way too much time in the library trying to dodge Suzy, my guidance counselor Mrs. Hurley called me into her office. The advice she gave me that day finally stopped Suzy’s incessant bullying and has stayed with me all these years waiting to be put to good use again. Now is that time, you see it’s my daughter who needs Mrs. Hurley’s advice because she has her own Suzy to deal with.

  1. If a bully can sense you’re weak or scared, she’ll go after that. Stand up for yourself, hold your ground and take control of the situation. Convey self-confidence by walking confidently, with your head up, keeping direct eye contact. Not letting yourself be taken advantage will give you self-esteem and you’ll gain respect from your peers.
  1. Stand up for yourself but always avoid arguing with the bully. They want a reaction so don’t give them one.
  1. Get involved in an activity outside your school environment and make new friends but don’t get isolated. Remember to include your school friends in your outside activities and continue to invite them over to your house to hang out.
  1. If you can’t stop the bullying at an early stage using your own terms and feel you need someone to intervene on your behalf, find a Mrs. Hurley – a teacher, guidance counselor or the principal. It’s essential that your child trusts you, and continues to confide in you so don’t go to the school to report the bullying without your daughter’s knowledge. Reporting an incident is not the same as tattling on someone.


With today’s technology, it’s hard to dodge a bully. You can’t hide in the library anymore. Suzy will find you on the internet, on social media websites, email, instant messaging, text messaging and by cell phone.

Let your daughter know not to respond to the mean, vulgar or threatening emails. Save them and have her show them to you immediately. Do not share any of her online passwords with anyone. If the cyber bully is anonymous, contact your Internet Service Provider to see if they can be tracked. Contact the bully’s parents and show them the harassing emails and ask them to make sure the cyber bullying stops otherwise you will have to take action.

With support of parents, friends and school officials, hopefully we can stop all the Suzy’s from cyber bullying ever again.

Mar19

Etiquette for Kids in The Digital Age

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Etiquette for Kids in The Digital Age

Etiquette is a code of behavior that defines expectations for social behavior. Children who grow up without learning this important code may not develop important social relationship skills for interacting with others and are at a greater risk of conflict when interacting with their peers.

Teaching etiquette and manners starts at home. Parents should begin working with their children at an early age teaching basic manners such as asking “please” and saying “thank you.” This basic foundation can be expanded upon by choosing the traits you wish to cultivate in your kids. As the qualities of respect, kindness, honesty, self-esteem and thoughtfulness are built, your child will develop a solid character foundation and life-long survival skills.

It’s also important for parents to be good role models as kids are like sponges soaking up everything around them. They’ll absorb your actions on a daily basis and even your online behavior will be mimicked so setting the right example on and off line is an responsibility as a parent.

Etiquette Guidelines – Behavior when communicating on the Internet also known as Netiquette:

 

  • Respect – Stress the importance of treating others the same way they like to be treated – being polite will develop your child’s relationship building skills.  When chatting or in a chat group, avoid name calling, gossip, negative talk about classmates or discussing personal and controversial topics such as religion, politics, sex, race or ethnicity. Be courteous, kind and considerate of others online. Even though you’re behind a computer, your words identify who you are. Set boundaries on what is acceptable and not acceptable discussion online.
  •  Use appropriate language & emoticons (emotion icons) – Be conscious of what you say as unkind words and actions can cause hurt feelings. Watch the use of emoticons and punctuation when to trying to convey your meaning and be clear in your communication to minimize misunderstandings. Avoid writing in all caps as it’s rude and is considered the equivalent of verbally SHOUTING and being ‘in your face.’ Remember that when you’re online no else can see your body language, facial expressions or hear the tone of your voice.

 

  • Think Before You Send – Pictures, texts, email and videos can all be posted, copied, forwarded, downloaded and reconfigured with PhotoShop. If you think something might embarrass someone, invade their privacy or stir up drama, do not send it out. You can’t retrieve it once it’s sent or posted and it will remain in cyberspace forever.
  • Create a safe screen name- Encourage your kids to think about the impression that screen names can make so they won’t choose provocative or identifiable nicknames that can lead to name calling or bullying.
  • Cyberbullying – This is the use of technology to harass, threaten, embarrass or target another person. If targeted by a cyberbully, do not respond because it will lead to a never ending cycle of verbally bashing one another. Keep all original correspondence with dates and times if possible. If the messages are of a threatening nature or safety is a concern, contact local law enforcement as soon as possible.


“If you aren’t going to say something directly to someone’s face, than don’t use online as an opportunity to say it. It is this sense of bravery that people get when they are anonymous that gives the blogosphere a bad reputation.” – Mena Trott

“No matter how well you know the rules of netiquette, you will eventually offend someone who doesn’t.”- Don Rittner

How do you teach your children ‘netiquette’ ?

Feb28

Cyber-bullying: The Truth Behind the Shocking New Internet Trends by Jacob Andersen

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Cyber-bullying: The Truth Behind the Shocking New Internet Trends by Jacob Andersen

Technology dominates our everyday lives. It’s with us from the time we go to bed at night to the moment we wake, from cell phones to the internet where blogs, social networking and instant messaging are ‘on’ 24/7.

These advances in technology allow immediate access to information and the likelihood of your child being bullied significantly increases.

Cyber-bullying is the act of using the internet or other technology to send or post text images that are intended to intimate, harass or threaten another individual – usually between peers who go to the same school or live in the same neighborhood.

This type of communication has opened new doors for predators to cross. Statistics show that one million children have been cyber-bullied on social network sites alone according to a consumer report survey conducted in the US in early 2011.

Constant cyber-bullying can cause the victim to have an inability to focus on academics, low self esteem, anxiety, depression or even to commit suicide. The more frequent and severe the cyber-bullying, the greater the social impact on the victim putting them at risk of engaging in deviant or delinquent behaviors.

It is critical that parents, teachers and counselors educate themselves on intervention strategies and resources available to prevent and address cyber-bulling.

Cyber-bullying, The Truth Behind the Shocking New Internet Trends by Jacob Andersen, the founder of KidsEmail.org, addresses this need. The book provides the reader with effective strategies, safety measures, tools and resources and is now available for download on Amazon.

 

This book:
* Gives real-life examples of kids that are targets of cyber attacks.
* Addresses sexting, sexual soliciting, cyberbullying, and other forms of Internet danger
* Provides up-to-date data on the latest shocking Internet trends
* Contains quick references for kids, parents, and educators for both preventing and addressing cyberbullying and other Internet dangers.

 

It’s our responsibility as a society to look out for the social and psychological well-being of our children.

 

End bullying by empowering yourself with knowledge and be sure to read Cyberbulling, The Truth Behind the Shocking New Internet Trends.

Feb22

Street bullying is a Reality ~ Cyber bullying is a Virtual One

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Street bullying is a Reality ~ Cyber bullying is a Virtual One

Cyberbullying is RealStreet bullying occurs when a child or group of children intentionally harm another using verbal threats, intimidation, and/or physical violence such as hitting, biting or kicking. Street bullying often begins in early childhood: think of the youngster who stakes claim to the sandbox and all its contents using aggressive behavior to keep others out.

 

As the bully grows up he/she continues to claim a stake in preschool, on the middle school playground and eventually in high school. Each day an estimated 160,000 students in the United States refuse to go to school because they fear the physical and verbal aggression of their peers. 30% of these students are 17 years and younger who are victims of street bullying, cyber-bullying or repeated harm through other electronic devices. It’s been reported that 6 out of 10 American youth witness bullying at least once a day.

 
Although cyber-bullying is virtual, it can have the same crippling effects on the victim as street bullying: low self esteem, depression, failing grades, suicide and destructive acts of violence. Bullies see the anonymity of online conversation as the perfect cyber turf to use verbal weapons when their identity is masked and protected by the screen. However cyber-bullying is not a technology problem but rather a social and educational problem involving youth and the improper use of online technology.

 
The following are helpful resources if you know or suspect someone who is being bullied:

  • 911: If you or a child is at immediate risk of harm because of bullying, call the police.
  • Suicide Prevention Hotline (1-800-273-TALK (8255): If a child/teenager is feeling suicidal because of bullying, contact the suicide prevention hotline.
  • School Administration: Anti-bullying programs have been instituted throughout many school systems. Talk to the school administration (principal or superintendent).
  • Counselor or Health professional: If the individual who is being bullied is having emotional problems, contact a counselor or other health professional.
  • The U.S. Department of Education: If a child is bullied because of their race, ethnicity or disability, contact the U.S Department of Education Office on Civil Rights – http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/index.html

How do you and your children deal with cyberbullying?

Feb14

Benefits of the Right Social Media for Kids

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Benefits of the Right Social Media for Kids

Kids & The Internet: The Benefits


Today’s iGeneration (teens and middle-schoolers) are internet savvy thanks to the existence of online gaming sites, virtual worlds, forums, message boards, online communities and social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Kidssocialnetwork, Club Penguin, Moshi Monsters, Togetherville and Everloop.

While access to these sites is often through a desktop computer or a laptop, mobile devices represent a large part of the social media movement with teens representing 19% of the 12.3 million active social networkers. 75% of teens now own cell phones: 25% use them for social media, 54% use them for texting and 24% use them for instant messaging.

According to a Common Sense Media poll from August 2009, 22% of teenagers log on to their favorite social media site more than 10 times a day and more than half of tweens log on to a social media site more than once a day. In a study by the National School Boards Association, 60% of kids surveyed reported that some of the most popular social networking topics were college planning, learning, careers, and schoolwork.

While there are risks in being online, there are also many potential benefits:

  • Social Connections: Social networking is today’s version of hanging out but rather than taking place at a friend’s house or at the mall, it happens online. Social networking provides opportunities to develop new relationships and strengthen existing ones. For the shy child, participation in online conversations can help boost their confidence especially for those who don’t quite ‘fit in’ at school.
  • Skills: Being online offers the opportunity for a child to develop technical skills (posting to blogs, uploading photos and video) and media literacy through exposure to different types of online media.
  • Creativity: Exposure to the online world can encourage the growth of ideas through reading blogs, watching videos or listening to podcasts. This reinforces the value of exchanging ideas and helps the child with written expression and language skills.
  • Cultures: The world is smaller than ever and young people who spend time online have the opportunity to learn the nuances of other cultures and gain perspective through interaction with those whose background is different than their own.
  • Education: The internet is frequently used to supplement the education provided in the classroom, extending it outside the child’s immediate surroundings. Online interaction often replaces traditional learning methods by connecting students with peers on homework or group projects.


Internet and social networking websites have the potential to improve your child’s knowledge and skills and help them maintain on-going communication with friends and family.

Feb8

Who are the Children’s GateKeepers?

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Who are the Children’s GateKeepers?

With kids spending more and more time socializing online, the lure of peer pressure to visit social media websites has become difficult to resist.

Exposure to offensive content, violent images, racist or hate material, contact with pedophiles and cyber-bullying are a few of the potential risks for children if their internet use is not monitored.

Who is pulling a tight leash when it comes to monitoring the topics that kids are exposed to while surfing the internet? According to Media Marketing Research in 2006, mothers are the primary gatekeepers for children between the ages of 6 – 11 when it comes to the use of the internet. A child’s best online protection is their parent or guardian. Acting as the gatekeeper they can use internet safety tools to limit access to content, websites and activities.

To be actively involved, follow the internet guidelines below:

 

  • Use Internet filtering and parental control software programs to block access to sites and explicit content. These settings are password protected but kids are computer savvy, so be sure not to use a password that your child would easily know or they might be able to gain access to the settings.
  • Use Privacy settings to restrict access to information about your child on various online sites. Most, if not all, social networking sites provide settings that limit who can view a child’s personal information. The privacy setting allows the gatekeeper to give permission to which friends, clubs or community groups are able to view a child’s profile and they can block unwanted guests such as predators or cyber-bullies from accessing any information.
  • Teach your children to never give out personal information such as name, address, school they attend or if and when they are home alone at anytime. Encourage your child to be creative and use online nicknames so they don’t give away their real identity.
  • Keep the computer centrally located in your home so you can periodically monitor internet activity without it being obvious to your child that you’re keeping an eye on them.
  • Bookmark kids’ favorite sites for easy access.
  • Limit the amount of time spent on the internet and encourage physical exercise.
  • Teach responsible, ethical, online behavior that will help your child develop a respectable online presence.


By talking to your children about potential online dangers and being their gatekeeper, you’ll help them surf the Internet safely.